Does An Officer Make A Gentleman?

I am a survivor.
I am a civilian.
I was raped by a prestigious military officer.- Surviving 120: The First 48 Hours By Tabitha Phegley

Toy Soldiers and Manly Men

Giant Toy Soldier is a child's protector
in "March of The Wooden Soldiers"

From childhood to young adulthood, the American Soldier has always been the iconic symbol. A protector of women, children, and the elderly in our culture. Tall, brave, steadfast in his duty, he stood between us and the evil that threaten our very lives. When we see the man or woman in uniform we see someone who is honest, brave, dedicate to values and principals, which we cherish. As a child I remembered watching such antiquated movies like "March of The Wooden Soldiers." Where the 12 foot tall troops marched in cadence to Toyland, pushing back evil and saving the children and others. As boys we played with GI Joe dolls, pretending that we were brave troops, and of course, there will remain that image of Richard Gere walking into the factory and sweeping Debra Winger off her feet in "An Officer, and A Gentlemen." No doubt many a young woman thinks of that scene when they hear the song; "Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong." Sadly the dream is shattered today. For some, this man is a Hollywood myth.

Richard Geer and Debra Winger
"An Officer and A Gentleman"

The idea that what's underneath the uniform is the same as what's inside the person is a falsehood.  Now of course anyone in or out of their Class A's is flawed, but we cast the idea that the Armed Forces transforms men and women into a special breed of soldier. One who can be trusted to hold up American ideals and values, whether in time of war or peace.  But we have bought into the notion that when a guy puts on a uniform, he is a good guy, and that you should be able to judge a book by it's cover when it comes to a military man. Especially an officer.

The Sexual Assault of a young 27 year old civilian school teacher seems to be one of arrogance, assumed privilege, and an attitude of passive-aggressiveness.

Tabitha Phegley

Tabitha Phegley was drinking socially that evening with a close friend who would soon be leaving for Arizona, when she ran into Jason Boman, an Air Force Captain stationed at Whiteman AFB Mo. She and Boman knew each from a mutual friend. When Tabitha did not return to her table, the friend that she came with assumed she had left for the evening. After discovering that her ride home had left her, Tabitha text her to return to the bar, but the message wouldn't be read until the next morning. Boman and his drinking buddy, Captain Andy Waugh decided to take a cab together and not risk a DUI arrest. Boman invited his friend Waugh and Tabitha to his house for an so-called after-bar-party. Boman told her that she could hang out there until she reached her friend. “I always ask everyone to come over for drinks,” Boman said. But when the cab arrived at Boman’s address, Waugh conveniently changed his mind, and said that he was too tired and would walk to his own house a few blocks away.

Now, obviously this was going to be a party for two, with Jason Boman attempting to kiss Tabitha several times during the evening. And when it was getting late and Tabitha's text messages were not being answered she asked Jason if she could just crash on his couch. And what does this stalwart, upright all-American flyboy do? He insists that she take his bed instead. According the Kansas City Star:

"Boman said he’d be a gentleman and sleep on the couch," she testified, so she went to his bedroom and drifted off. She was awakened by severe pain from Boman’s rough jabbing of her vagina with his hand, and pleaded with him to stop. But the 5-foot-2-inch blond seemed powerless to fight him off and was falling in and out of a drunken sleep, she said." I stopped telling him no.” On the stand, she dissolved into tears. “It didn’t hurt as much as his hand did, and I wanted it over.” -Kansas City Star November 24, 2013

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/11/23/4645786/a-womans-word-meets-the-military.html#storylink=cpy

Capt. Jason Wayne Boman

Tabitha made her escape by waiting until the drunken pilot fell asleep and manage to text friends who responded and took her home. Tabitha's fault in all of this? She trusted a man who was suppose to be trustworthy. During his police interrogation Boman played the part of the true-blue shinning Captain claiming that she (Tabitha) was "a nice girl, and he didn't want to say anything against her." And yet he had lapses of memory of how they got from the living room to the bedroom, but with his lapse of memory he is sure that the sex was consensual. Maybe he was implying, this 5'2 blonde preschool teacher came onto him? And that she manage to move his  large 6'2" hulking frame from the living room into the bedroom? Maybe it was Tabitha who tried take advantage of him? I say that "tongue in cheek" because it is a sad, twisted ploy of someone who rapes, then want you to believe that they're the one's being victimized.

Military Intervention

This alleged assault that took place in Warrensburg Mo. came to the attention of judge advocate general’s office at Whiteman AFB.  Air Force Lt. Col. Todd Pennington, the top JAG officer for the bomb wing, believed it should fall within his jurisdiction. The civilian prosecutor for the case, Lynn Stoppy eventually relented and allowed the case to be transferred to a military court in hopes the the alleged perpetrator would receive a stiffer sentence if found guilty.

"To reach a guilty verdict, military law required at least four of the five jurors, all fellow Air Force officers, nearly all from the same unit as the accused, to agree. Six hours had passed since the closing arguments ended around 8 p.m. The judge was weary, too, telling the deliberators to either “wrap this up or reconvene at 0800.”They wrapped it.A little after 2:30 a.m., the court reassembled Waiting for the judge to sit first, one juror lifted her gaze from the floor and met the teacher’s eyes briefly. Tension flowed into Room 204 as it filled with bomber crews, other officers and several spouses.The lieutenant colonel on the jury read from the slip of paper. Capt. Jason Wayne Boman, 29-year-old bachelor, graduate of the Air Force Academy, class of 2005: “Not guilty.”-Lee Hill Kavanaugh,The Kansas City Star

The might of the military had come to the aid of one of their own. This is what perhaps makes this system broken. An officer by all accounts commits this crime, and the Military Justice system comes in and airlifts him out.  To the jubilation of some around him.

"The judge and jurors that morning of Sept. 14 had just filed out — but not Boman’s accuser, Tabitha Phegley — before a sudden celebration erupted in the standing-room-only courtroom. Cheers and laughter, and a great relieved sobbing arose, too---" Lee Hill Kavanaugh,The Kansas City Star

Casting a shadow of pain for Tabitha

And yet no consolation for the victim that day. According to reports, Tabitha quietly endured a 10-mile silent trip from the trial back to her apartment, later to be joined by a small group of friends who wept, and hugged her. The ripple effect of the verdict stabbing deeply into their hearts a well. Tabitha said that her friends took it harder than she did. Perhaps her expectations for a conviction were very low, so as not to be disappointed. Indeed the Justice system met her expectations that day.

 “I was expecting it all along,” she says now, recalling some of the Air Force prosecutors who seemed more concerned for the pilot’s reputation. “Let’s face it, he’s a million-dollar investment for the United States of America. Do you really think they’d just let him go?” 

But of course when you dare to speak out; those who think they know what really happened try to silence you. One parent, whose child attends the school where Miss Phegley teaches, complained that she (Tabitha) called her friend (Boman) a rapist on a website.Which was not her doing, but a friend's. On a school playground, we punish the child who is attacked for creating a disturbance. It's bothersome and noisy. Remove him or her and the problem is solved. This seems to be how we've dealt with sexual assault so far. Our society, it seems doesn't like to deal with this sort of reality. We'd like to remember our officers as gentlemen; tall, romantic, and heroic. The military it seems has swept in, evacuated their man to a new duty station, safe from any accusations, but never safe from his own conscience. His own bad act of rape, victim blaming, and betrayal will replay in his head for years to come no doubt.

Simon Must Say

We have a system that allows men to play the "good guy," and then when no one is looking they become someone else, simply because we have to prove their guilt. Some defenders of rape call it, "A hook-up gone bad." They use the culture scenario of the liberated woman who wants to be pursued, but when a misunderstanding erupts, she gets emotional and cries rape. He just made a mistake, is their defense. I'm amazed at how some of these guys who make this mistake can command a company or platoon, or how they make million-dollar decisions, but they can't distinguish between difference between "yes, and no!" They don't hear "stop!" All of a sudden we're to believe that they had a lapse in judgement. "He's a victim of a bad game of 'Simon Says!' is the inference."  Tabitha's attorney, Lynn Stoppy, originally had faith in the system, and must have felt Tabitha would receive a fair trial. From all accounts the Air Force had an agenda of rescuing their own highly valued soldier, and saving their reputation. In retrospect she remarked;

“And the victim, ---was one of the strongest witnesses I’ve ever met.… I thought she had a good chance. My heart is heavy for her as a victim of a crime.”

Military Sexual Assault Bill 

A new bill was just signed into law last week. The day after Christmas, President Obamasigned a defense bill with provisions to curb sexual assault in the U.S. military. Under the new law, anyone who engages in sexual assault will face dishonorable discharge, commanders are prevented from reversing jury decisions, legal assistance will be provided for victims, and “retaliation” against a victim will be punished.- Think Progress December 27, 2013

I would be happier about it if I believed that this law would be in the hands of men who would use it impartially, and fairly. What are the checks and balances to make sure this law is implemented, and that victims are protected whether they are within the ranks or within our neighborhoods?  Will the military do the honorable thing, and allow justice to take it's course? Or will they intervene again to help their own against lower ranking military and civilians who dare oppose this crime?

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/11/23/4645786/a-womans-word-meets-the-military.html#storylink=cpy

At this point I will refrain from pouring anymore cold water on the efforts of those who wrote this bill. The burden is indeed on the leaders of our armed forces to make sure that the numbers of sexual assault victims for the next year reverses. Not all officers are to be seen as potential rapists, some are good and decent men and women. However there are those who wear, uniform and bring shame to it, either by their crimes, or their circumvention of justice.

Continue to support Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's bill. The aforementioned law is a good one, but the MJIA Bill will take the guesswork out of whether a sexual assault victims will receive a fair trial and a chance for justice.

A special thank to Tabitha for letting me tell your story.
Tabitha Phegley: Surviving 120: The First 48 Hours
Other Sources: Think Progress December 27, 2013- President Obama Signs Military Sexual Assault Bill
Kansas City Star: Case of The B52 Pilot Charged with Rape
         

Happy 2014 to us all. I trust this will be a victorious year for many of you Invisible Warriors.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/11/23/4645786/a-womans-word-meets-the-military.html#storylink=cp

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/11/23/4645786/a-womans-word-meets-the-military.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/11/23/4645786/a-womans-word-meets-the-military.html#storylink=cpy