If You Want To Sing Out

It's not easy to swim upstream against a tide of haters, and destructive talk on the web. Sometimes it can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. But I try to remember the lyrics to a Cats Stevens song.
"If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free be free,
Cause there's a million things to be, You know that there are.."

I try to avoid reading the comment sections of most blogs and news stories. Not that I disregard the everyday man's thoughts, but because many of the comments can be outrageous, and shocking. People interject nonsense into a thread discussion, very well knowing that it will invoke an outraged response from most readers. To me, of course, to joke about sexual assault, or to "shame-blame" the victim disturbs me to no end. In fact, you don't want to try it on this blog, trust me. The Stuebenville early release of one of the young men in the case, no doubt, evoke outrage from some of the public. Giving push-back to the outrage, were some readers whose sympathies fell with the convicted rather than the victim. They voice their thoughts loud and clear. In one article some of the comments seemed to be from the convicted's own peer group and hometown. They rallyied in support of their friend,  and ex football star, with no thought for the victim.

I wonder if some of these know-it-all "rally around the rapist" types could have a "Freaky Friday" experience with an assault victim. A body switch might change their perspective on the aftermath of rape. I'm not advocating that they experience the act itself, but maybe they should know the prison that MST and PTSD encases a man or woman in. Maybe they would realize that you don't treat sexual assault like a skinned knee. It hurts, for awhile, but you just pick yourself up, and move on. Many of these publications become a feeding frenzy for the most vile comments. Accusing the victim of either lying, complaining too much about the incident, or doing something that caused the rape in the first place. I wonder at these so-called bright people who troll the internet to find news like this. What drives them to spew such poisonous thoughts on a comment section of an article. They proclaim they know that rape is such an easy thing to get over. The victim should just stop talking about it. The media should just go away, and not report it. A rapist if convicted can spend as much as 5-7 years in jail or prison. For the record,
Ma'Lik Richmond who was found guilty of rape in the Stuebenville case, only served 9 months of a one-year sentence for committing an adult crime. However PTSD and MST, when brought on by a sexual assault will keep a victim in their own prison for the rest of their lives. The victim does not get to walk away, being exonerated. PTSD and MST, accuses, blames, shames, and condemns a person to thoughts that he or she cannot control. There is no off switch for these thoughts.

A Tale Of Two Victims

So Mr or Miss internet commentator, on this issue do you really know any victims personally? Have you listened to their stories? Maybe a story of rape violence, and an institution that failed to help? An institution that tried to have her arrested when she reported the rape. How about Teri? She was a young enlisted person who trusted an older NCO and friend. That older man attacked her one night and the victim became the accused.

 Terri was beaten and raped by a high ranking NCO. Finger nails and teeth were removed with pliers,  she was cut with a knife by the rapist, paint thinner was poured into her vagina. She reported the incident to her duty officer, who scoffed at her. The second-in-command remarked that her bleeding was from a "bad period." The base commander said that she could spend the rest of her life in prison for reporting this rape. Returning to her apartment she tried to take her life which apparently failed. Then she sought help from the base chaplain who promptly had her arrested for reporting the crime and

for attempting suicide. She was then shipped off to the psych ward of an Air Force facility where it was discovered she was pregnant from the rape. Keri was ordered to have an abortion to get rid of the evidence that there was a rape, and to agree to attend an alcoholics class. The director deemed her not an alcoholic and the Army's last desperate attempt had failed to hide the fact of the rape. So Kerri was given and honorable discharge with borderline personality disorder. She couldn't reenlist.

"I had graduated first in everything in my class. I don't know why they don't want to keep me.---I honestly thought that if I begged enough I could stay..."

Heath enjoyed a good experience in Navy boot camp. This all changed when he reached his first duty station. On his first weekend there he was sexually assaulted by a couple of new friends who took him to New York for a good time. Apparently after Heath passed out from too much to drink, his two new crewmen friends attempted to sexually assault him that weekend. Returning to the ship, the young midshipmen reported the incident to his Master at Arms. He was rebuffed and accused of cooking up the story to try to go home. Nevertheless his supervisor did speak to the two about the incident.
Reporting the incident only elevated the situation.  Now terrorized and afraid of what might happen next, Heath went AWOL to get help. His parents contacted a congressman. But not wishing his parents to be in trouble, Heath stayed on the streets, which eventually got him picked up by the police and landed him in the brig. Some of the same seamen who terrorize Heath were still on ship when he returned. These men continued their reign of terror:  more beatings, sexual assaults, and sodomizing him in the shower with the handle of a toilet bowl cleaner. Eventually Heath went AWOL again. It seemed like the only recourse to him. He was finally separated from the Navy with no benefits.

"I speak out now partially because I'm upset of how I've been treated, also because I don't think that other people that had this happen to them, should stay hidden anymore. I think we all need to speak out."

 Both of these survivors were bright, young, and who wanted to just serve their country. Just like others who wanted to live the American dream. And and now they live with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, (PTSD) or Military Sexual Trauma (MST) plaguing their minds and souls. Maybe a better message to society, to the Armed Forces or any other institution is "Don't Rape!" or Don't "Victim Blame."

When people re-victimize a survivor on Twitter, Facebook or Tumblr about rape, it is obvious that our

culture is slowly eroding on what you can do to a person. We blame shift; and practically turn rapist into heroes who got what they wanted, and it's the victims fault or that he/she was too stupid to stop the attack. An article was passed on this week by a follower on Twitter and frankly, the first paragraph scared the hell out of me.

"It's not easy to shock me anymore, but during a recent a conversation with a former female Marine about military rape, I received the shock of my life when she adamantly stated: 'Military rapes are few and far between, and most of these bitches are filing false charges.'
Whoa. It's not that I don't believe false charges are sometimes levied. But to say that rapes are few and far between demonstrates the deep-seated denial currently in place."- Cilla McCain Huff Post January 12, 2014

The author of the Huff post went on to talk about LaVena Johnson whose unsolved death seems to be shrinking in the interest of the public eye and the media. I wonder how someone such as this former female Marine could make such a callous remark like that? Partly it seems that to sympathize with a victim seems to make some people appear weak. So they talk the tough talk, little realizing words re-victimize those who have already suffered. There is an old proverb that says;

"It is one thing for someone to think you are a fool, it is another thing to open your mouth, and remove all doubt."

Joan Trumpauer Mulholland taken after her arrest in Jackson, Miss.,1961

I remember the story of the young students who rode the buses through the south to protesting racial segregation. They were "The Freedom Riders." The fact that young white students joined with black students to take on this dangerous mission was a mystery for me for many years. They were putting themselves in harms way. Along with black students and others they were beaten, arrested, and convicted for inciting violence in 1961. Why do it? They could have lead nice quiet lives away from these situations. Eventually the answer came to me. When you see injustice you must speak out. You don't have to be a certain color, or be the same gender, or be a victim to know when something is wrong. The Freedom Riders rode the buses because they had to take a stand. The issue had it's hooks in the hearts of many of these students and activists like Joan Trumpauer Mulholland. They had no choice. I myself am a freedom rider of sorts. These horrific acts of assault on our servicemen and women, like Terri and Heath, are criminal acts. I have to stand and speak, and sit and blog, to remind the public and the institutions not to blame the victims, but to blame the offenders, and the leaders who chose to ignore these crimes.

So as this year begins I can't but help to be what I am: A Freedom Writer. I pound out my thoughts and beliefs for survivors of sexual assault, MST, PTSD, and violence against women. This can be the year when we push back those destructive voices of guilt-blaming and victim-shaming. The victory belongs to those who will not give up. And who will stand with others to make a difference.


Sources- Terri's Story and Heath's Story- Protect Our Defenders
                Justice For PFC Laverne Johnson?- Huff Post Blog

#Pass MJIA @Twitter