He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother!

"It's a long Road"
Click above to hear song by the Hollies

The Road is Long,

With many a winding turn,

That leads us to who knows where,
Who knows where?
But I'm strong,
Strong enough to carry him,
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

This blog is going to be a little "touchy-feely." For one thing, within the area of sexual assault if we can agree, when both men and women can come

together and ally themselves as brothers and sisters, rather than male verses female; we can begin to beat some of the problems that we have. In the area of sexual assault we are in danger of being split up by the statistics of gender, ethnicity, Gay versus Straight, old versus young, and on and on, until we look at each other's difference more than at the one thing that holds us together and that is the war on Sexual Assault.

In a world where we become divided by gender, race, politics, and such, I reflect on the thought that we should be united by the cause against sexual assault and injustice. As I am reminded by the old 60's song by the Hollies, both men and women who are survivors, as well as advocates, need to stand shoulder to shoulder, championing each other against this scourge of humanity. When we cry out against this crime and demand justice for innocent children, as well as for good men and women, we hold back the tide of evil that threatens to cripple a person from within and shatter their spirit, and sometimes their lives. 

No Burden Is He

It's good to know that I am being challenged as an advocated to share more stories about sexual assault of men. Some of you may not know, but many of these remarks come from women. They recognize that our brothers at times don't know to speak out for themselves, or feel the pain of being stigmatized in a culture that says "only women get raped." I've seen brave men that come forward and tell their stories from within their community, and even within our nation's capitol. And I recognize that while they do with apprehension, there are female invisible warriors cheering them on.

Senator Kirsten Gillibrand Congratulating Survivor
Brian Lewis for his courage and advocacy

There are also good men walking in lock-step with survivors, giving their voices to this issue. These are men who have the courage to stand and say "Rape is no joke!" Or to look another man in the eye telling him either to his face, or on social Net "you're wrong!" Good men recognize women not as sweethearts or sex partners but as sisters. They don't try and overshadow them in this Invisible War, but they speak out as only a man can do sometimes, dispelling the belief that rape is some cause made up by feminists to take over society and our institutions.

Dr. Maya Angelou was a rape survivor as well as writer, poet and an advocate for human equality. She

Dr. Maya Angelou

recognized that men and women must stand together in truth. We must not look at each other's gender, race, or even age, if were going to affect change in our society. Because the enemies of truth and justice will attack when they can isolate us from each other.

"We allow our ignorance to prevail upon us, and make us think we can survive alone in patches, alone in groups, alone in races, even alone in genders." Dr. Maya Angelou

When a man tells a man slut shaming and victim blaming is wrong, it can disarm misogynistic thinking, just the way when a racist is confronted by someone of his own race about his attitude, it is more effective. 

Touré: Should there be male feminists?

Touré co-host of "The Cycle" say's in a piece called; "Should There Be Male Feminists?" 

 "There have long been white people fighting for racial justice, and straight people advocating for gay rights, and men working for gender equality.--- All this because some understand that the oppression of some contributes to the oppression of many. But let's not argue that men should become Feminists because of it's value--- Many men are feminists because we know that female empowerment isn't a threat."

It's A Long Road

Twitter AVI of USMC BoonieRat 

My setup here has been for a special guy who was a subscriber to my blog, but more important he was an warrior advocate against sexual assault in the military and society. On Twitter I knew him as @USMCBoonieRat. He was a husband, father, Veteran, and advocate against the blight of sexual assault, so prevalent in our country and globally. Boonie was a Marine recipient of 2 Purple Hearts, served during the Vietnam conflict, and profiled himself as a Libtard Prick Bastard With Critical thinking skills, and a Christian that calls out fake ones on occasion. From his tweets I knew that Boonie was man with a large heart for others, and didn't follow the herd on issues. He was as much of a guy that you'd ever want to meet, and at the same time he would tweet about injustice with lots of hot sauce! One of our mutual followers who goes by the handle "Misspell" shares this story about meeting Boonie: 

Misspell, Friend follower on Twitter

"I was told I have a form of PTSD, from breast cancer??? Okay, so ya think that was traumatic, I was also a rape victim. 13 years old, had moved to an urban area from a small town, lured by a girl my age, convinced to try this fun experience called bagging, by these really cute much older than me, guys, yes, I was enamored,,,flirting,,,on top of the world! That turned out to be what I believe was ether. After they were done with me, they left me on the curb in front of my house. They told me to shake a coke bottle and spray it inside me, so I wouldn't get pregnant. I never told anyone. Not my sister, or mom. Never told Anyone, I'm 57! I started accessing Twitter--- I had friends on FB. Then Sandy Hook happened, then West Borough Baptist Church was going to protest at those precious babies funerals---  That's when I met... Anonymous. That may have been when I first encountered @USMCBoonieRat.  

 BoonieRat & Anonymous At Stubenville Rally  

 Then Steubenville happened, I jumped right in, made a ton of friends, JaneDoe was being attacked online, by Adults!!! In real life by members in her community, peers and their parents. I am very grateful for what Anonymous did, thankful, very surely could have saved her from self inflicted death. During this time Boonie would come to her aid, to my aid, advocating against the rape apologist trolls that came out of the woodwork. The World Was Watching.

During the rallies, he was a powerful presence of men. Not typical for me at least, to see Men at a rape rally. Some spoke, but most stood quietly, firmly, powerfully, in defiance against what other men have brushed off as "boys willbe boys.

That was my pivotal moment. There I was yelling on Twitter for JaneDoe, helping her, reasoning with those online about their incorrect ideals regarding rape.

That's when it Hit me. JaneDoe helped Me! This little girl facing down the Giant helped me. I can't tell you how many times I've been able to help another sister breathe like that since that day. Boonie helped me. He directed me to the PTSD help centers. Tho they were designed for Vets. I was able to find resources. I never told Boonie. I have a Veteran nephew that was struggling. I linked him to Boonie and passed on the advice and links Boonie gave me for him.  I don't think Boonie knew how important he was to me."

From Which There Is No Return

USMC BoonieRat as he was known to his Twitter followers passed away on May 22, 2014. "Misspell" alerted me by tweeting, "Your blog is his last retweet. He's gone." A memorial service followed later honoring his memory. I wasn't able to attend. This is my way of honoring his advocacy to many online like @Misspell and others who needed a friend or maybe a brother. No doubt many miss him and are grateful for his voice on so many matters. I like guys like this who can cut through the BS and say it straight. Because there is something about real men who speak up that can alter this problem. Boonie was a leader in this fight against sexual assault and injustice. And he loved his dogs.

PHD Jackson Katz is an expert on violence, media and masculinity says:

Dr. Jackson Katz: Click for video

"We need more men who have the courage and the strength to start standing up and saying some other stuff and standing with women not against them pretending that somehow this is a battle between the sexes and other kinds of nonsense. We live in the world together--- 

Among the many great things that Martin Luther King said in his short life was; in the end what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.  There's been an awful lot of silence in male culture about this ongoing tragedy of men's violence against women and children---  and all I'm saying is that we need to break that silence and we need more men to do that."

And this was who Boonie was to many of us:

Marshall Tucker, one of Boonie's pups
who was originally, "a throw away."

For those of you who would like to leave a thought, you may do so, and I will re-post on this blog.

@USMCBoonieRat called himself a  "Libtard Prick Bastard With Critical thinking skills." My friend you were a hero to many of us in this Invisible War. Rest in Peace.

Resources

MSNBC- The Cycle- Touré: Should there be male feminists?

TEDx Talks- Violence against women—It's a men's issue: Jackson Katz 

Special Thanks To:
@Misspell on Twitter "Thanks Sharon for your 

vigilance and alerting me to Boonie's passing."
@an0nymousph3re and Barbara Jackson for Steubenville photo

Heartfelt Condolences to friends and family