Smiling Faces Part 1

Smiling faces sometimes

Pretend to be your friend

Smiling faces show no traces

Of the evil that lurks within

Smiling faces, smiling faces

Tell lies and I got proof

As I listened to this old 1970's R&B song, it has more meaning than one might think. Behavior within our culture that elevates to sexual assault many times happens when a smiling face, pretending to be a friend, lures a victim into a situation where he or she feels trapped or powerless. We've learned that many victims of sexual assault knew their rapist prior to the incident. One of the most clever tools a perp uses is to make them feel they have his confidence. Some rapists will cultivate a friendship for quite awhile before he attacks. It makes it seem as though maybe he got his signals crossed. After all the two have spent a lot of time together. "I thought she wanted it," is usually their defense.

Of The Evil That Lurks Within

A Happy Exonerated Joshua Tate
last of the Naval Academy 3

And speaking of smiling faces take a look at this one: Midshipman 2nd Class Joshua Tate. He was acquitted of the sexual assault charges against a female Midshipman. Agatha Christie comes to mind and this high profile sexual assault case watched first Traves Bush, of Johnston, S.C., who had been charged with aggravated sexual assault, had the charges against him dropped back in October of last year; followed by Eric Graham, several days ago; and now Joshua Tate has been acquitted of sexual assault. And his accuser is considered to be a pariah on campus. She sat through long hours of being grilled by the defense, asked stupid questions like "were you even wearing underwear that night and even called a "Ho" by one of the defense attorneys. She watched all 3 men, one by one go free until then there were none.

"WASHINGTON — A military judge on Thursday found a former United States Naval Academy football player, Joshua Tate, not guilty of sexually assaulting a fellow midshipman when she was too drunk to consent, bringing partial resolution to a highly publicized case that has lasted for nearly two years.Col. Daniel Daugherty, the judge presiding over the trial, sent a lesser charge of making false statements back to the school to decide. On Thursday evening, a Naval Academy spokesman, Cmdr. John Schofield, said the school had agreed to accept Mr. Tate’s resignation in exchange for withdrawing the lying charge. “By resigning, Midshipman Tate has agreed to accept the most serious form of punishment a midshipman can receive through the conduct system — a dismissal from the Naval Academy,” he said."

Sinclair & Tate: Twin acquittals
of Military Justice

But this is a new year. The NDAA was just signed, including provisions to fight sexual assault. The Military pledged (wait for it) Zero Tolerance of this type of behavior. While Congress and the Pentagon brushes aside any real reforms for change to introduce the McCasill bill.  It seems now with the real threat to the chain of command out of the way (The Military Justice Improvement Act), it's back to the Status Quo. Such as in the case of Brig. General, Jeffery Sinclair, where he agreed to plead to lesser military charges, there is no time served for either men. So far this year, two high profile cases, both ending in acquittals.

Do I have to tell you whether the men and women in the ranks will feel more confident in reporting these crimes to their chain of command? The old system seems to be still in place with something of a new paint job. No doubt those who stopped the bill that would have removed the chain of command as the decision makers in sexual assault cases are giving themselves high-fives, and pats on the back. If anyone is going to take on the system, they will have to have sheer will and determination.

The Handshake That Hides the Snake

Caution: this story could contain trigger words for PTSD and MST Survivors!

Bobbie Moulder is a civilian and ex-wife of a US Marine, SSGT Richard Moulder. She has been a victim of sexual assault since the young age of four.  Later she was sexually assaulted at 14 by a 19 year old boy of an affluent family.  Bobbie met Richard Moulder in high school in 2005. They would not become a couple until later in 2006 when Richard was on leave. No doubt, what Bobbie didn't know about her handsome Marine was he was a highly charged sex addict with a need to feed his addiction with internet porn; this elevated to his desire to experiment with partner swapping with other Marines. This of course was not consensual on Bobbie's part. The bride of the sex-crazed Marine thought this was an innocent get together with friends. Since she had never drank before, the alcohol hit her pretty hard. She woke up with man on top of her, while the man's wife was kissing her face. Bobbie said she sobbed through the whole ordeal while crying out for the man to stop. Moulder proudly posted pics of this sick ordeal on the web.
 From Dec. 1, 2007 to April 10, 2011 Bobbie was the victim of multiple incidents of sexual assault (marital rape, group rape and sodomy) as well as physical assault. Her attacker was her (then) husband, Richard Moulder. Bobbie said:

"I was silenced from reporting my attacks until I was remarried because I was dependent

on his child support. I was reminded that my children would do without if my attacker was in jail. My attacker and his fellow Marines got me drunk and raped me. My attacker threatened me and sodomized me multiple times. My attacker masturbated in front of our daughter. My attacker forced me by fear to stay in a household where he beat me if I refused to have sex with him, where he had multiple affairs giving me multiple STD’s, and took pleasure in forcing me to commit sexual acts that I was uncomfortable with. He raped me to the point of causing me to bleed internally, and to the point of tearing and bleeding in external orifices"

A domestically abused and
sexually assaulted Bobbie Moulder

On March 9th, 2010 her husband gave her a black eye and deviated septum, then the next day, she reported it to his command and a military protective order was issued. May 13th, 2010, Richard attacked Bobbie again choking her. She locked herself in the bathroom and took pictures of her wounds but was still too afraid to report the attack. She waited about a month until things had calmed down and reported when she felt her husband would be least suspicious. On June 20th, Richard Moulder was arrested by San Bernardino County Sheriff deputies and Military Police from 29 Palms Marine Air Ground Training Center, and then released the same day to his command. They confined him to a bachelor's barracks room so she could have time to “collect her things" and leave town. Like many people suffering from PTSD, there is the guilt that comes when a marriage doesn't work out. Perhaps, she thought, "Maybe I can make this work after all." So in March of 2011 after trying to save her marriage and believing that her husband had undergone enough counseling to change his behavior, they attended a couples counseling session where he agreed to attend SARP. But then the old ways began to creep back.

"April 10th, 2011 my husband beat me again. He took my phone from me and hung up as

I was gasping for breath to the dispatchers. He hung up on call back from the Military Police and was arrested by the Camp Pendleton Military Police.  I was told by an officer on scene that CPS would be in contact since we had a history of abuse in the home. But if I wasn't in town they couldn't take the children. I packed up and moved from Oceanside,CA to Indiana in 42 hours."

The Pat on The Back

March 6th, 2013, Bobbie gave her full statement, which was taken down by Agent McCartney of NCIS. She seemed somewhat relieved because NCIS wasn't connected to the Military Chain of Command. Later this same agent warned her to prepare to be portrayed as a vengeful ex-wife, but also reassured her not to worry; NCIS would support her through the trial phase, with the least amount of upset and shame as possible. This agent later gave her his card to follow up if she needed him.

Bobbie's case was passed around
The NCIS 

Now here is where the wheels begin to fall off. Bobbie called twice after her meeting with the agent only to have her  calls sent to voice mail, and were never returned. She received a phone call some months later from agent Lise Nielsen with NCIS at Camp Pendleton and was told that she was in charge of the case, and was collecting evidence and would be in touch. She had to continually email her once a month or so to get an update in the case. Then the Dance of the Lemons continued as Bobbie was passed off to another agent; Elizabeth Heisey for a few months and from there she was passed onto agent Danielle Holladay. Every time one of the agents had been removed from her case and it was passed onto another new agent; this young sexual assault victim was not made aware until she contacted the desk phone number given to her by the supervisor.  Each time they returned her calls they would introduce themselves to her. This is akin to the welfare system set up in this country. You're assigned a case worker. But you've got better odds of hitting the Lottery than ever seeing that case worker again.

Also while Bobbie was struggling to end this nightmare, her husband was promoted while under criminal investigation by NCIS from Sergeant to Staff Sergeant of Marines on Sept 1st, 2013.

By November 2013, Bobbie Moulder was informed that her now ex-

Dance of the Lemons 

husband would be facing an article 32 hearing, but by the 1st week of March 2014, Bobbie's patience was wearing thin. Now after more months of smiling faces, Bobbie had a new Lemon dance partner: Captain Ben Bish. The Captain made a recommendation to his superior and would not tell her what his recommendation was.  This month Bobbie called Captain Bish yet again after not hearing from him on his commands decision, she was placed on speaker phone with Bish's superior, a NCIS Major.

" I was then told by the Major that he had recommended to his superior that my case not go to article 32 hearing. He said there was insufficient evidence. I argued that there was and felt very helpless. I promised him that I would not be silenced and I would be reaching out to Washington for help, since he offered none. I also made them both aware that I had NEVER been provided a victim advocate/attorney as NDAA requires, and that I planned on telling everyone I could what a horrible job they had done with my case thus far. "

 Sadly this is the same military that promised us reform in it's policies. Can't you hear it in your sleep?  "Good order and discipline and Zero Tolerance" Blues! After all the promises, rhetoric, meetings, case studies, and media attention, where is the change?

The military gets to keep its direct decision making intact and here is what happens to people like Bobbie Moulder.  Even when a person has concrete photos and documents showing the assaults took place, it is still the good-old-boy's club of Zero Accountability. Bobbie has shared a lot with me in hopes that many in the media and other sources will pick up her story and let others know that this is what happens when we leave the decisions in the hands of the "Chain of Command Gang!"

After all the hell this young woman had to endure, it's a wonder that she is still alive to tell anyone about it. Now she fights to get justice from her ex-husband and assailant. This is a man who gave her HPV (Human Papillomavirus)  which caused her cervical and gynecological cancer.

"I've had a radical hysterectomy and 2 pacemakers placed in my lower back to control my bladder and bowels. He ruined my body forever ."

Although she has remarried, she and her present husband can never have children. At this point she still sits and waits for a final decision on her case, while a Major in the chain is going to recommend that the article 32 hearing be dropped because of lack of evidence. A person's future can be decided just like that on the whim of a officer in charge. How is this justice?
My suspicions are that with time, and shuffling a case back and forth, the military avoids many prosecutions. It's called Trickle-down Justice, and apparently it's still alive and well in the military system.

SARP Rape whistles
given out to kids as toys?

Also to show you how in touch the Military Rape Prevention Program is: Bobbie and her children attended a Military family function just recently, where these SARP rape whistles were handed out to children as toys!  To quote Congressman Claire McCaskill: "Are you frickin kidding me?"



Next time the telling of two brave Vets who continue to find the system for veterans is not everything it should be. Plus when is a patch not a patch? Be here when Kate Weber will share some amazing things of how the Invisible War continues.

Victoria Sanders                       Kate Weber

Special Thanks to Bobbie Mulder for sharing her story of bravery and encouragement.  Bobbie could use our encouragement and support. Any ideas or resources, please let me know and I will pass them along. Bobbie, we're pulling for you. Hugs and love, Sis!

Thanks also to Rosie Palfy and to Vera Santa Clara for twitter updates on Military Sexual Assault issues. My two best friends who share from their hearts. Thanks ladies.

This week Begins Domestic Violence Awareness Week. Find a way to spread to others that there is no excuse for this abuse!