Pretend to be your friend
Smiling faces show no traces
Of the evil that lurks within
Smiling faces, smiling faces
Tell lies and I got proof
As I listened to this old 1970's R&B song, it has more meaning than one might think. Behavior within our culture that elevates to sexual assault many times happens when a smiling face, pretending to be a friend, lures a victim into a situation where he or she feels trapped or powerless. We've learned that many victims of sexual assault knew their rapist prior to the incident. One of the most clever tools a perp uses is to make them feel they have his confidence. Some rapists will cultivate a friendship for quite awhile before he attacks. It makes it seem as though maybe he got his signals crossed. After all the two have spent a lot of time together. "I thought she wanted it," is usually their defense.
Of The Evil That Lurks Within
A Happy Exonerated Joshua Tate last of the Naval Academy 3 |
"WASHINGTON — A military judge on Thursday found a former United States Naval Academy football player, Joshua Tate, not guilty of sexually assaulting a fellow midshipman when she was too drunk to consent, bringing partial resolution to a highly publicized case that has lasted for nearly two years.Col. Daniel Daugherty, the judge presiding over the trial, sent a lesser charge of making false statements back to the school to decide. On Thursday evening, a Naval Academy spokesman, Cmdr. John Schofield, said the school had agreed to accept Mr. Tate’s resignation in exchange for withdrawing the lying charge. “By resigning, Midshipman Tate has agreed to accept the most serious form of punishment a midshipman can receive through the conduct system — a dismissal from the Naval Academy,” he said."
Sinclair & Tate: Twin acquittals of Military Justice |
Do I have to tell you whether the men and women in the ranks will feel more confident in reporting these crimes to their chain of command? The old system seems to be still in place with something of a new paint job. No doubt those who stopped the bill that would have removed the chain of command as the decision makers in sexual assault cases are giving themselves high-fives, and pats on the back. If anyone is going to take on the system, they will have to have sheer will and determination.
The Handshake That Hides the Snake
Caution: this story could contain trigger words for PTSD and MST Survivors!
From Dec. 1, 2007 to April 10, 2011 Bobbie was the victim of multiple incidents of sexual assault (marital rape, group rape and sodomy) as well as physical assault. Her attacker was her (then) husband, Richard Moulder. Bobbie said:
"I was silenced from reporting my attacks until I was remarried because I was dependent
on his child support. I was reminded that my children would do without if my attacker was in jail. My attacker and his fellow Marines got me drunk and raped me. My attacker threatened me and sodomized me multiple times. My attacker masturbated in front of our daughter. My attacker forced me by fear to stay in a household where he beat me if I refused to have sex with him, where he had multiple affairs giving me multiple STD’s, and took pleasure in forcing me to commit sexual acts that I was uncomfortable with. He raped me to the point of causing me to bleed internally, and to the point of tearing and bleeding in external orifices"
A domestically abused and sexually assaulted Bobbie Moulder |
"April 10th, 2011 my husband beat me again. He took my phone from me and hung up as
I was gasping for breath to the dispatchers. He hung up on call back from the Military Police and was arrested by the Camp Pendleton Military Police. I was told by an officer on scene that CPS would be in contact since we had a history of abuse in the home. But if I wasn't in town they couldn't take the children. I packed up and moved from Oceanside,CA to Indiana in 42 hours."
The Pat on The Back
March 6th, 2013, Bobbie gave her full statement, which was taken down by Agent McCartney of NCIS. She seemed somewhat relieved because NCIS wasn't connected to the Military Chain of Command. Later this same agent warned her to prepare to be portrayed as a vengeful ex-wife, but also reassured her not to worry; NCIS would support her through the trial phase, with the least amount of upset and shame as possible. This agent later gave her his card to follow up if she needed him.
Bobbie's case was passed around The NCIS |
Also while Bobbie was struggling to end this nightmare, her husband was promoted while under criminal investigation by NCIS from Sergeant to Staff Sergeant of Marines on Sept 1st, 2013.
By November 2013, Bobbie Moulder was informed that her now ex-
Dance of the Lemons |
" I was then told by the Major that he had recommended to his superior that my case not go to article 32 hearing. He said there was insufficient evidence. I argued that there was and felt very helpless. I promised him that I would not be silenced and I would be reaching out to Washington for help, since he offered none. I also made them both aware that I had NEVER been provided a victim advocate/attorney as NDAA requires, and that I planned on telling everyone I could what a horrible job they had done with my case thus far. "
Sadly this is the same military that promised us reform in it's policies. Can't you hear it in your sleep? "Good order and discipline and Zero Tolerance" Blues! After all the promises, rhetoric, meetings, case studies, and media attention, where is the change?
The military gets to keep its direct decision making intact and here is what happens to people like Bobbie Moulder. Even when a person has concrete photos and documents showing the assaults took place, it is still the good-old-boy's club of Zero Accountability. Bobbie has shared a lot with me in hopes that many in the media and other sources will pick up her story and let others know that this is what happens when we leave the decisions in the hands of the "Chain of Command Gang!"
After all the hell this young woman had to endure, it's a wonder that she is still alive to tell anyone about it. Now she fights to get justice from her ex-husband and assailant. This is a man who gave her HPV (Human Papillomavirus) which caused her cervical and gynecological cancer.
"I've had a radical hysterectomy and 2 pacemakers placed in my lower back to control my bladder and bowels. He ruined my body forever ."
Although she has remarried, she and her present husband can never have children. At this point she still sits and waits for a final decision on her case, while a Major in the chain is going to recommend that the article 32 hearing be dropped because of lack of evidence. A person's future can be decided just like that on the whim of a officer in charge. How is this justice?
My suspicions are that with time, and shuffling a case back and forth, the military avoids many prosecutions. It's called Trickle-down Justice, and apparently it's still alive and well in the military system.
SARP Rape whistles given out to kids as toys? |
Next time the telling of two brave Vets who continue to find the system for veterans is not everything it should be. Plus when is a patch not a patch? Be here when Kate Weber will share some amazing things of how the Invisible War continues.
Victoria Sanders Kate Weber |
Special Thanks to Bobbie Mulder for sharing her story of bravery and encouragement. Bobbie could use our encouragement and support. Any ideas or resources, please let me know and I will pass them along. Bobbie, we're pulling for you. Hugs and love, Sis!